why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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