She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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