Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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