That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
