i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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