..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
