I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
