...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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