So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
