I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
