And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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