I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just had sex on a roof
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
