you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
