I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
