She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
