i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
