My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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