Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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