Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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