Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
