I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
