Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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