it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
