maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm both gender and math confused
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
