no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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