Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
