I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize