He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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