You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
