after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
