420 ftw
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
