I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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