Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
