You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
