Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
