Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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