So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
