I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
