My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
