her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
