Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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