Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize