I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
