And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she told me i tasted like america
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
