And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
