so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
