Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
