just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize