you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
