Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
