Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
