I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
