HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she peed on how many people?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
