google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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