Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
