yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
