He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
