Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
